|
Family Patterns of Addiction.
Family Patterns of Addiction
The Dry Drunk Pattern of Addiction A dry drunk is a recovered alcoholic who is no longer physically addicted to alcohol, but who still manifests certain behavioral patterns common the alcoholics. Take note that the dry drunk patterns that are mentioned here are not only exclusive to those with liquor problems but to those with drug problems as well. These addictive patterns may also be inherited from past generations. Here are some traits which are considered "dry drunk" behavioral patterns. " A firm and judgmental viewpoint on life " Irresponsibility " Being impatient " Pretentious lifestyle " Illogical rationalization " Childish behavior " Exaggerated self-worth " Defensiveness " Insistence on being correct all the time, even when his reasoning is wrong These traits describe the addict, whether on not he is drinking, gambling, or high on drugs. The person who is a "dry drunk" basically has control over his behavior but has not changed his attitudes. It is actually the emotional factors that are quite essential and important here. There is a possibility that the patterns of the Needy Baby and Self-Hatred may be combined here. This pattern requires the family to focus on the "addict" himself and when the situation isn't corrected by understanding and treating the "sickness" pattern of the addict, then the real issue isn't really addressed. Family Coping Patterns with Addiction There are children who try to cope in a seemingly addictive world which is slightly similar to their parents. They try to be safe and sane in an insane world. Here are some common coping patterns that children utilize: " Being a Hero and a Responsible Child. Owning up to their responsibilities makes children displace all their mixed feelings and energies, whether positive or negative, into an outward stimulus such as sports, recreation, school work, partying, and being able to achieve everything. In doing all of these things, the hero or responsible child takes the attention away from the family problems and instead it even makes the family looks good since he is the one taking charge. The only flaw here is that this is only temporal and is not lasting the hero/responsible child can never feel good for a long time even though he exceeds in everything. He must admit that even he can't fix the problems of the family. " Scapegoat. There are reasons and purposes why children become delinquents, rebellious, or attention-grabbing at some point in their lives. These attitudes that they portray may divert attention from the real problem of the family: the dependence on this particular substance. The child, who is treated as a scapegoat in the family, may wind up in some cycle of despair and frustration. He acts out to show his frustration, and when he gets blamed for everything, the frustration doesn't diminish the frustration heightens. Other feelings such as anger, guilt, and inadequacy also surface. The Actor There are some children who like to play with masks by hiding their true feelings and coping with their parents' addictions by feeling happy and joyful. This attitude may seem to take away the problems of the family with addiction but in reality, it masks the true behaviors of the family. The Lost Child This is somewhat the opposite of being an actor in the family. There are some children who cope with the addiction in the family by being withdrawn and lost and try to be by themselves most of the time. They actually deny what they feel inside and deny that they are faced with any problems and instead they feel that they are undetectable.
|